Ever heard of the Lemon MacBook?

No, not the Apple MacBook - the Lemon MacBook. At least that's what I think I got. Don't think I'm not tech savvy just yet... granted, the machine does have an Apple icon on it, so that would lead me -and any sane person who's following the current technology gadget revolution of all products that start with "i"- to believe that it's actually an Apple Macintosh product. But no, my friend. I must propose in this short ranting that this is actually a Lemon product, or perhaps an Apple product infused with citrus.

You see, I got this new laptop in late July 2006. I welcomed it into my life, protected it and nurtured it. And I was quite happy with it, until it went from tender infant to seemingly rebellious youth (let's not forget technology's extremely short life span for the purpose of this crude metaphor).

Then my once docile instrument started objecting and crashing -much like a temper tantrum. While I attempted to figure out why this was happening, and as we got into the holidays, it refused to produce an image -much like the child who just doesn't want to show up when you call him. So out it went to the Apple hospital, where they replaced something or other, presumably the video card, and sent it back to me.

The previous problem persisted, however, and my machine continued to crash. I finally figured out that it was objecting to the sleep mode -or perhaps it was not happy when I woke it up. Coming to think about it, that's probably what it was, as it would crash anyway if I left it on and used it for too long. Pretty much like a lazy teenager who'd rather sleep than clean his room. So back it went to the Apple hospital, when one day it refused to wake up at all. And then they replaced a whole bunch of other parts, started to send it back, and returned it for additional repairs, since the problem was still present. Then it came back to me.

Now we're talking early May... and it's been great since. We have enjoyed a satisfying relationship, and it's gone back to being my companion when I'm sick at home, or when work takes me beyond the office. And then it crashed again. Apparently, this time, it was the hard drive... now, for those of you keeping count, this is the third time in 9 months. I could have given birth to another child in the time it's taken this Lemon to reveal its true self.

So, you see, while this may very well be an Apple, it is also a Lemon. From every factory there is, at least one will be produced. Judging by the level of Apple use in our office (at least 20 Mac desktops and laptops in the last five years), I'd say we're at a 5% failure rate, max. Is this too much? Is this acceptable? Is this right??? Moreover, is this the way it's going to be from now on? And CAN I TAKE IT????

Remains to be seen.