Road Trip Detour - the New Journey

Ah... We have our plans, our destination, our map in front of us, and all of a sudden, wham!!, it all changes. In the blink of an eye our destination reroutes, like a bad GPS mistake, except it's not a mistake and you can't make a U-turn. 

That's where I find myself, unable to make a U-turn. And I know there's a reason for that, so I'm examining the new landscape and figuring out how to navigate it, because I know there's a branch on this road that takes me back to my original destination. 

Getting a leukemia diagnosis has abruptly changed our lives. Concern, stress and more questions than answers are a huge part of it, but so are faith and courage and strength. We choose to lean on the latter, because the road ahead is uncharted. I don't have a GPS for this. 

It is a humbling experience as well, and not just from the physical standpoint that health is not a given, but from the emotional standpoint to see the overwhelming support and love that is being poured on us. It has been such a source of comfort and a blessing beyond words. It is humbling to know that people care this much, and even more so to see how they see me, because I don't see me the same way (I mean, I know I'm pretty cool, don't get me wrong, but this is so much more). 

Today, my counts continue to go down, as expected, all within range. So far, I can tolerate the 24/7 chemo drip thanks to antiemetic meds. I am neutropenic, so higher risk for infection and thus not allowed any visitors, not even my husband for whom I'd gotten an exception (covid restrictions are in place). That's a small price to pay to stay as safe and healthy, all things considered. Next week, counts will really go down, and I expect I'll feel way worse, but that's for next week. Once I complete this first cycle (of several), I'll know better. For now, it's two weeks in the hospital, one week at home if things go as hoped for (no infections, no reactions, counts going back up as planned). 

I try to keep my sense of humor. I'm using this picture of me from last summer because my hair really looked great, and that's going to go away. And when it does, don't be surprised to find a poll to see who is the best bold head - Jim or I. Hair will grow back, and that also will be a surprise (can I end up a redhead with fabulous, shiny curls?)

I am still wrapping my head around this; it's been a whirlwind, and there are ups and downs. I am holding on to my faith, which is at the center of my life, working hard to trust God completely (He sometimes makes it hard). I am holding on to prayers and love, because that will get me, us, through this. I am grateful for all the things that have happened along the way to pave the road ahead and allow us to walk this journey, and I pray that I can walk it with grace.

I am grateful for my husband, who is my absolute rock and my forever guy. I am grateful for my children, who are holding up and working through this and keeping their sense of humor, keeping the faith. I am grateful for our friends and our community and our church and our faith. I have so much to be grateful for, all the blessings God continues to provide, and the signs that serve like a beacon to keep my eyes on Jesus. 

In terms of badass women, I have Wonder Woman on my FB profile, but I'd start with the Virgin Mary, because she had to be badass at the tender age of 14 and trust completely. I want to trust like her and let her guide me closer to her son, Jesus. There's Catherine of Siena, who got the Pope to get his act together and return to Rome. There's Joan of Arc, also a teenager who fought like a soldier. And from the fictional ones, well, Wonder Woman. She is fabulous, let's face it, and I may not have the boobs, but I want to have the attitude. 

Love to all. More to come.