I believe in Santa...

This season has been unusual for me - somehow going on a cruise during Thanksgiving threw things off. The "official" kickoff of the holiday season was spent on a ship somewhere off the coast of Mexico, eating anything BUT turkey (that's a good thing...) Coming back was a rush of things to do, laundry to wash, school projects to complete, and work to be done.

Now it's Christmas Eve, and I'm trying to figure out how it all passed me by. The most wonderful time of the year, other than my birthday, hasn't quite measured up... and maybe it's been up to me to just let it in. Just soak it in - the lights, the welcomed chill of winter in this usually warm state, the rain that cleanses all and, beyond the gray, makes things brighter and more intense.

I found myself wrapping presents in the rush that is the days leading up to Christmas, and planning a menu, and wondering what Mass we'd attend, and what the girls would wear, and whether or not we'd be able to drive to the mountains on the 25th as planned with the forecast calling for snow showers. And somewhere through it all came the voice of my scroogey brother - "You lie to your children! The whole idea of Santa Claus is a lie!" He's a Grinch!

And through it all, I found Santa once again. Beyond the reason for the season and the celebration of the birth of Christ, despite having missed most of the Advent Masses, the spirit is back!

Yes, I believe in Santa Claus. I track him down through NORAD with my girls, so they too may believe, although in a different way, through children's eyes. I believe in Santa, not because he'll bring me presents, not because I'll tell the story to my girls, not because of the songs we'll sing through the season. I believe in Santa because of what he represents, at least to me. In this season of commercial insanity, Santa still represents the season of hope, the possibility of magic, and the ability of wishes to come true.

I believe in Santa because I believe in hope.

A couple of thoughts...

I have spent the last few days in the beautiful city of San Francisco at the annual CASE District VII conference. Too bad that most of the time was spent in the hotel, because I do love San Francisco. But let's get to the point of this blog.

These past couple of days I have gotten to know people I work with, to whom I am grateful for the things they've shared with me. One shared the struggle of starting a family after all treatments are done and adoption is the only option. The other the struggle of life and seeing her partner of many years lose her vision a little at a time, with no option for slowing the process.

I am grateful for the trust, but also grateful for the realizations that came from that. Realizations we all have somewhere in our hearts, but that became even more clear:

1. We all are meant to have a miracle in our lives, even though that
   miracle may not come in the form we always dreamed of or expected.
2. Sometimes, it's ok to be reckless and a bit irresponsible (within reason!), if that means giving those you love the memories of a lifetime to carry them through the darkness of the years to come.

That's it. Nothing too profound I suppose, but some thoughts that have occupied my mind today.