I wonder how, when and why it happens. When I was growing up, my parents cared for me, worried about me, and tried to steer me through the safest path, the one with the least amount of obstacles, the one that hopefully would lead me to a happy and fulfilled life as an adult. Now I find myself doing the same for my children, and oddly enough worrying about it for my parents.
When did I start feeling like I needed to care for them and protect them? When did the frustration start at finding myself unable to make things easier for them and solve their problems? I worry now morning and night about their decisions, their lives, and the potential consequences of their actions. They may have more experience, and they certainly have a very different outlook, but that doesn't stop me from wanting to, in a sense, mother them.
I wrestle with the inability to protect them, and finally find some reassurance in the fact that life really didn't mean for me to take on that role. And I close my eyes and pray that somehow, somewhere, they will find happiness and a way to live the rest of their lives with dignity. And I say "they" because I'd rather not point the finger at the parent that really is making me lose sleep. You know who you are, and I hope you know that, no matter what, I love you.
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